


You can scream at me, I deserve it

by Mack_008



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Kara needed to apologize, Lena actually processes a little trauma, our girls needed to talk more, post 5x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mack_008/pseuds/Mack_008
Summary: Lena and Kara talk through Lena’s trauma about being screamed at. They grow. They move forward.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 114





	You can scream at me, I deserve it

**Author's Note:**

> I grew up an abusive older brother, physically and emotionally. I identify with Lena so much sometimes and the last few Eps especially. I had to turn the tv off during the lex yelling scene it was too triggering for me, too close to home. But I wanted to write Lena and Kara talking a little about this.

It had been a week since everything went down. Lex was arrested and awaiting trial, leviathan was gone, and Lena and Kara had started repairing their relationship.  
Lunches and texts and now Lena found herself curled into Kara’s couch, a glass of wine in her hand while Kara flipped through Netflix, settling on some baking show.  
If Lena were honest with herself, it had been a rough week. Everything with Lex had trudged up so much childhood trauma and she had been trying her best to push it down into tiny boxes. So many tiny boxes.  
“Hey Lena?” Kara asked, pulling the dark haired girl out of her thoughts.  
“Yeah?” Lena answered.  
“We haven’t talked about it yet, but I just really wanted to apologize for yelling at you the other day in the lab.” Kara said pulling her knees up into her chest.  
Lena just shrugged, “I deserved it. It’s fine. I’m sorry for making you upset.”  
Kara was stunned for a moment, “What Lena, no. You never deserve to be yelled at, why would you think that?”  
Again Lena shrugged before downing the rest of her wine and setting her glass down, “I’ve always been yelled at when I mess up. If I’m being yelled at it’s probably for good reason. Lillian always said I could only hear her if she was screaming in my ear. Lex, well, I upset him often.” She said not offering much more than that.  
“Lena before all of this, before crisis, you were standing up for yourself. What happened?”  
“Lex.”  
Kara sighed, she knew this was a sore topic for Lena but she really wanted to know how to help her friend get out of this headspace that she deserved this yelling, this abuse.  
Kara reached out and hesitantly touched Lena’s arm, “Lena. You can talk to me. What happened?”  
Lena took a big breathe offering a weak smile, “as you know Lex had been manipulating me for months. I didn’t know it, I didn’t see it.” She paused, took a deep breathe, “When we were at the prison and my project failed I tried standing up to him, calling him out and he...he screamed at me. Got right into my face and spit and yelled and and...” Lena trailed off.  
Kara looked to her friend with worry, Lena had stopped mid sentence and now had an unfocused gaze and tears brimming in her eyes.  
Kara grabbed Lena’s arm again, gently but with enough purpose to hopefully ground her.  
“Hey, you’re okay.” Kara reminded her.  
Lena sucked in a shakey breathe and looked towards her friend, tears in her eyes finally falling, “it was like I was back in the mansion. It was like I was a child and every step I took caused him to yell or to hit. I was so afraid.” Her lip trembled and she sucked in another breathe, “I AM so afraid.” She whispered.  
Kara watched as her friend broke in front of her, Lena Buried her face in her hands and let out a gut wrenching sob. Before she could even think better of it, Kara was holding her. Arms around Lena, holding her tight.  
“You’re safe Lena. He will never hurt you again, I promise. You are safe and you are loved. I’m right here.” Kara whispered.  
Lena just nodded and turned so that her face was now buried in Kara’s neck, her hands gripping her friends sweater.  
“Let it out. I’m right here, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Kara said while rocking slightly.  
“I’m sorry,” Lena whimpered after some time.  
Kara pulled back a little so she could see her friends face.  
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You have every right to be upset. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Kara told her, “and I am so sorry for yelling at you myself. It will never happen again.”  
“Thank you,” Lena sniffled as she grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and de-tangled herself from Kara. After wiping her eyes she settled back into the couch cushions facing the blonde.  
“We’re going to work on it, I promise.” Kara said as she laid her hand out palm up between the two. Without hesitation Lena placed her hand on top of Karas and squeezed.  
“I think I do.” Lena said thoughtfully causing Kara to raise her eyebrows in question, “want to work on this.” Lena clarified, “for real this time. I just, I don’t really know where to start. I’ve always done this by myself, but I really want to move past all of this lex stuff.”  
Kara nodded and squeezed Lena’s hand, rubbing her thumb over the CEO’s knuckles.  
“When I first came to Earth, I was mess and Eliza put me in a group grief therapy. I couldn’t tell specifics to people but it helped to talk about what I had been feeling. Maybe you could consider some kind of therapist? I could talk to Kelly for you I feel sure she’d have some recommendations.”  
Lena took a deep breathe and squeezed Karas hand in earnest, “That would be great Kara. I really want to do this. The right way, this time.”  
Kara smiled, “I’m so proud of you. I will be here the entire time. Maybe I should speak to someone too, I’ve really been through a lot with the crisis...”  
Lena nodded and returned the smile, “I think that’s a good idea too.”  
The two sat in silence for a while, the baking show finished on the tv.  
“We’re going to be okay, right?” Lena asked breaking the silence.  
Kara smiled, nodded, “Yeah. We’re going to be more than okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so I know this was rough. I wrote this while sitting with my father in the hospital on my phone while exhausted so it’s rough.


End file.
